March 26, 2011

Persuasive Writing

I attended my first local writer’s guild meeting this week. Yes, I’m a bit slow to only now be joining a writers' group, but that would be another post entirely.

The speaker discussed persuasive writing. Being a bit thick in the head, I sat and wondered, “How does this apply to a writer of children’s fiction?” Well, I’ve figured it out. Behold my persuasive writing:

Write. Write often. Write all the words in your head. Fix them later. Write.

§         A prolific writer has more chances of something being good enough to publish.
§         A prolific writer has a better chance at writerly freedom. 24 hours of pajama wearing, coffee guzzling, dirty haired freedom!
§         A prolific writer has to reach deep down inside to keep coming up with words and that’s where the best words hide. Words like “diddly-squat” and “fusty” that, used in the right context, can make kids giggle.
§         A prolific writer never has to resort to words like “underwear” or “fart” to make her audience giggle.
§         A prolific writer sells more, therefore has more bank deposits, therefore can afford vacations to inspiring places like The Alps or Death Valley or downtown Compton – depending on the research needed for the project at hand.
§         A prolific writer has a better chance of hitting on the next big thing, werewolves in space, fallen angels ascending, paranormal gangs in LA.
§         A prolific writer will have more public appearances putting her in touch with her audience and giving her access to their speech patterns, mannerisms and fashion sense. (Hopefully, a prolific writer will change out of her pajamas and wash her hair before said appearances.)
§         A prolific writer will spend her time at coffee shops, the library and indie bookstores. Somehow the grocery shopping and vacuuming gets done without her.
§         A prolific writer is unable to communicate mundane thoughts. She only speaks in the profound.
§         A prolific writer is never truly alone. Her characters travel with her and her setting forms and evolves around her.
§         A prolific writer doesn’t talk to herself. She is talking to her manuscript. It is alive. That is not creepy.

In conclusion, being a prolific writer allows you to live life from your butt, inside your dirty hair covered head, while mumbling senselessly, in your pajamas. Oh, in Los Angeles!


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